no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize