If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
