I cockslap morals
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
