trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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