Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
worst night to have a conscience
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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