I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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