Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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