Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
