i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
