If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
