What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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