they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
