I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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