idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
