I didn't shave. On purpose
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
