this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
