Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
