My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
