Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
