I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize