All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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