do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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