Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
