So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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