then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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