I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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