i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm too high and old for this...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
