I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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