you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize