i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
