Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Buhtt sex?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
