I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
