I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
