Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
