We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
