They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize