I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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