I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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