office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So. Much. Porn.
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