At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
