whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
