There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
