Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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