I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize