I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
