Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
