I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
