can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize