dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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