Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
