you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
