ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
