Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
