You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize