laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
