the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize