Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
