lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
a search helicopter?!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
