You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
