so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize