She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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