that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
